Living with a Sex Therapist: What’s That on the Counter?

I know it’s been awhile since posting about Living with a Sex Therapist, but the BFF and I recently had a wonderful interaction that is a must-share! After several weeks of a male masturbation sleeve just sitting on the living room end table and no comment at all, the BFF sees my Magic Wand lying on the kitchen counter.

This Wand isn’t for Harry Potter

Living with a Sex Therapist: What's THAT on the Counter?Before we get to his reaction and our conversation, let’s review the Magic Wand and why it is totally awesome. The Magic Wand is a ‘personal massager’ with intended uses for general muscle aches and soreness as well as sexual pleasure. Granted, a majority of its use is, more than likely, for sexual pleasure. However, not pointing fingers (or using them!), some may use it for muscle soreness after leg day at the gym! More about that to “come”….

Now, why is the Magic Wand so amazing? If you listened to the Let’s Talk Sex Podcast, Episode 16: “Your Mindset on Masturbation,” then you heard Magnus Sullivan educating us about the technology behind the Magic Wand. The Magic Wand was designed to allow clitoral stimulation without over stimulating the clitoris’s 8,000 nerve endings, an unacknowledged problem with some stimulation devices. Overstimulation can cause sensitivity to the clitoral head, which can lead to premature orgasms or even discomfort that makes continuing intercourse unpleasant. Yes, gentlemen readers, this happens to ladies as well! By reducing sensitivity and slowing stimulation, we get more time for play! Seriously, check out the episode to learn more, and check out the Magic Wand at

What’s THAT on the Counter??

Back to why the Magic Wand was on the kitchen counter. As I said, the Magic Wand can help relieve muscle soreness, which I was experiencing after a great squat session. I figured, why not test it out on sore muscles? My Wand has a cord and needs to an outlet to function, and I needed a chest-high outlet for maximum reach. This is beginning to make sense, right? Well, after my research, I left the Wand on the counter to go look at shoes online (totally reasonable, right?). Half asleep, the BFF emerges from his room, walks into the kitchen and says, “What is that on the counLiving with a Sex Therapist: What's THAT on the Counter?ter?” To which I respond, “A Magic Wand.”  


“What does that do?”

“You use it to massage your back.” He stands for a moment, shakes his head and just walks back into his room. After a second or two, he pops his head back out and says in a concerning yet hesitant tone, “It looks kinda…big.”  

“Yes, it’s external.”


I receive a dumbfounded look for a brief moment while he is processing this information. Then, his face contorts with disgust  (maybe?)and he goes, “Get that off my counter!” Hold up! He’s ok if a vaginal toy is on the counter, but not an EXTERNAL only toy??


Living with a sex therapist… the Magic Wand remains on the counter as I type this post.

How My Iroha Tori Almost Gave Me a Heart Attack


You know that one time when you think your new, favorite toy is out of juice then suddenly a loud, vibrating noise wakes you from a dead sleep?  Yup, my Iroha Tori came to life while sitting on my bedside table. I guess it wasn’t done playing with me just yet!


Thanks to Liberator, I came in possession of a Tori vibrator from Iroha. I’m compelled to
write a review about my experiences with it so far. First, the one thing you will notice
about this little gem is its unique shape. It resembles a bird. In fact, the Tori does not even look like a sexual pleasure device. Instead, it looks more like a unique décor piece! That gives new meaning to coffee table conversation.

True or False?

So, why does it look like a bird? I cannot speak for the designers who make Iroha, though I once heard vibrators and dildos are illegal in some Asian countries. However, here’s the loophole. A product cannot be classified as an adult toy especially if it looks like another object such as an animal or flower. Again, this is all word-of-mouth though it seems congruent with our little bird. In fact, other Iroha designs resemble a seashell or a whale.


The Little Birdy Whispered

Next, you’ll notice the texture and feel of our little bird. Some days, just holding it in my hand puts me in a good mood! The body-safe silicone and smooth edges feel great all over the body. There aren’t any jagged or rough edges to cause injury to the delicate vaginal areas. Iroha makes a variety of toy styles. The “Tori” has two slightly pointed, though smooth ends. I have not experienced trouble with the ends. Although I advise caution when first exploring your body to prevent any injury. In fact, this product is not meant for vaginal insertion, but it can be used end near the vaginal opening for that added extra pleasure.

Buzz, Buzz

This toy has various levels of vibration. It goes from a soft buzz to an intense vibration to a pulsating vibe. One can start out slow and soft and move into more intense feel or start out with a bang with the highest intensity.  The control buttons are also easy to access during self-play. They are just underneath the Tori. It’s great placement because you don’t lose focus changing the speeds. Alternating between the levels can add to the variety of options during play. This can let women prolong orgasm and experience different lengths and intensity of orgasm.


The body-safe, silicone is also waterproof. Yes, readers, I’ve tested this feature and it IS waterproof! Now, you don’t have any excuse for expanding our sexual horizons either with yourself or partner in the shower. Jump on in there with your mate or schedule “me” time with yourself in the tub.

Slip and Slide

Speaking of silicone, keep in mind the type of lubricant you are using with your toys. A silicone-based lubricant can degrade silicone and make the toy unsafe. Therefore, I recommend a water-based, aloe-based, or other “toy safe” lubricant. One such recommendation is AloeCadabra. They have a huge selection of lubes which feature different smells and tastes. When making your purchase, enter promo code AFGETER for 25% off and free shipping!

Too Hot to Handle

Here are a few pro and cons of the Iroha Tori. The first night I “researched” my little gem, the motor cut off after 15 minutes of play. Apparently, it has a “kill man’s” switch to prevent overheating. GREAT feature to expand the lifespan, though disappointing when you are not done playing!  I suggest having another toy, perhaps a different version of the Iroha, on hand as an alternative. This gives you another option while playing with yourself or partner until the motor cools.

5A Must-Add

By the way, it takes about 15 minutes to cool as I found out in bed that night. Now, I do not know if Iroha intended this feature of the safety cut off. But the added heat adds another element of satisfaction to play as well.  With all that said, the Tenga Iroha is a great addition to any woman or couples “toy box.” Although designed as a solo toy for self-pleasure, a partner can also use the story to add stimulation during oral sex.  For instance, while a partner is stimulating the clitoris during oral sex, he/she could use the Iroha around the clitoris such has on the mons pubis, vaginal opening, or on the breasts.

Enjoy your new toy and I look forward to my next review!