Vibration is Good for Your Sexual Health: A Review of Intimina’s KegelSmart

KegelSmart Box

As many of my clients, readers, and listeners know, I am a HUGE proponent for pelvic floor strength. Your pelvic floor can be weakened both by atrophy and by a variety of medical experiences – for women, pregnancy and childbirth are the most common, and it’s a seldom-discussed side effect of prostate issues for men. Strengthening your pelvic floor can help with recovery from procedures related to these issues and help prepare the body for birth. Perhaps the most desirable benefit is that, for both women and men, a stronger pelvic floor can intensify and lengthen orgasms. I also have personal experience with pelvic floor treatment, including kegel exercises (90 a day!), which can become monotonous and boring. When things become boring, we tend to stop doing the exercises, and this is how our muscles begin to atrophy.

 

Well, when I found out that my newest affiliate partners, Intimina, manufactured kegel exercisers, I jumped at the opportunity to test the product to see if this would help motivate me to perform my kegel exercises more often without getting bored. At a minimum, I was excited and impressed that this tiny device could measure the strength of your pelvic floor muscles and help me track my progress!

The KegelSmart is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand and is made of smooth, medical-grade silicon. KegelSmart is inserted into the vagina like a tampon and provides a vibration to indicate when contract your pelvic floor and muscles and

kegelsmart in hand_Fotorstops vibrating to allow for “rest” between contractions. For those concerned with removal, KegelSmart also features a looped string for easy removal. The KegelSmart also has an indicator light that not only shows the product is turned on, but also shows your current program level. Did I mention KegelSmart is also 100% waterproof, meaning you can perform kegels anywhere including the shower or bath. If you’re feeling daring, you could even take your KegelSmart to your beach vacation for even more excitement in the ocean. (Of course, please be aware of all public indecency laws before inserting and removing the KegelSmart or just proceed to the nearest ladies room for privacy.)

Did KegelSmart live up to my expectations? Well, I began looking forward to my kegel exercises and performing them more regularly. I also progressed in the programs as my pelvic floor strength increased. The KegelSmart is programmed with five levels suited to your current pelvic floor strength and aimed at increasing it from your starting position. In my opinion, this helps keep your muscles working and building strength without overworking the muscles. The program and vibration keep you focused on the exercises instead of becoming distracted and loosing focus on your goal. Oh, did I mention each routine only lasts five minutes!? Come on: we all have five minutes out of 24-hours a day to work our core muscles!

Although I highly endorse this product, I do have to provide honest feedback about some cons of the device. KegelSmart requires a battery, which is not included with the product. This is clearly stated at Intimina.com – but who really reads the fine print? You can only imagine how disappointed I was to open my new toy to discover I needed a battery! As I don’t keep batteries in stock at home, I was very grateful to my physical therapy office for providing the AAA battery. Of course, they all got enjoyment from seeing this new toy as well.

KegelSmartAlthough KegelSmart is safe and will be effective for most women, I do caution women with less strength or experience in how to properly squeeze your PC muscles. It’s a skill that’s easy to learn, but that like many exercises takes some instruction from a professional and a bit of practice to get the hang of. The vibration routine provides only 5-6 seconds (at least from my count) for contractions and rests. The short rest time may be too short for some women. Please check with your current medical provider that this product is safe for your current treatment before using. I also recommend testing KegelSmart in your hand before inserting it into your vagina. This will help you become more familiar with the vibration sequence, including the delay pulse provided while you insert into your vagina as well as the ending pulses for once the program is complete. Don’t be like me and lay for an extra minute saying to myself, “Is it done yet? Do I remove it now?” and trying to grab the user manual for answers!

There you have it! Now, go check out the KegelSmart and other women’s intimate health products including other pelvic floor conditioning products, the menstrual cup, and intimate massagers at Intimina.com.

For more information about the pelvic floor, don’t forget to check out the Let’s Talk Sex podcast, “All About the Pelvis,” with Dr. Shelley DiCecco!

 

 

Spice Up Your Sex Life

This blog is a spinoff from my Spice Up Your Date Night blog. For all kinds of reasons, any couple can get into a sexual rut. If allowed to persist, these ruts can lead to mixed signals in the bedroom, less frequent sex, sometimes even no sex at all! Here are few tips that have helped my clients revive their sexually struggling relationships.

 

Go to Bed Angry AND Get It On!

Angry sex is acceptable and enjoyable! Most people believe we “can’t go to bed angry” or “sex will make him/her think all forgiven.” False! Sex is a natural behavior for humans. The part of the brain that is triggered by anger is the same part triggered during sex. Therefore, it’s natural to want sex when angry even if you haven’t made up. Another benefit of angry sex is focusing a bit more on your own needs than your partner’s needs. As I discuss with many clients, it’s all right to be a little selfish in bed at times! Plus, during this moment, you might focus a little more on yourself, which is also acceptable.

 

That Old Trunk Holds WHAT?   handcuffs-1503841_1920

No one likes eating the same thing every night!  Wink wink.  One way to add variety and spice to your sexual diet is to be adventurous with different toys or activities. For example, create an adult toy box with your partner. Regularly add to the toy box, and replace when things get worn out. And no adult toy is pleasurable with dust all over it: don’t forget to use the toy box on a regular basis. Do you find yourself ‘forgetting’ about using those toys or feeling embarrassed talking about using the toys? Create a code word or system to let your partner know you’re excited to use a certain toy. I suggest clients put the toy on top of the toy box, on the bed, or another place to indicate to your partner you want to play!

 

Not Your Average Romantic Getaway

Not tantra-389099_1920into toys or curious about a more advanced activity? Find an adult workshop in your area such as a couple’s retreat to build more intimacy and closeness, a tantra workshop to tap into your inner sexuality, or a kink workshop to learn ‘the ropes’ of bondage.

Many of my clients have also had success planning a sexcation: a vacation centered around sex and intimacy! Book a nice cabin in the woods or a ritzy hotel room for the weekend. Pack your favorite toys and sexy outfits (or no outfits at all!), leave your phone(s) and other devices off, and enjoy the time with your partner. To spice things up even more, plan your own spa times giving and receiving massages or facials! Who says you need to leave the room on vacation?

 

Kick Aging in the Butt!

You and your partner aren’t as young as you once were though that doesn’t mean your sex life has to suffer. Don’t let aging get in the way of your sex life! Talk to your doctor or sex therapist if there are changes in erectile functioning or if vaginal pain occurs. Yes, I know it’s embarrassing talking about these issues with your doctor, but it’s important! Although many causes of male and female sexual dysfunction are harmless, some sources could cause more long-term damage or chronic medical conditions. Especially as we age, it’s vital to stay on top of all medical issues, not just sexual ones, because we have a more difficult time recovering. Have you started a new medication and noticed a decline in sexual desire or function? Talk to your doctor as well. Making a small adjustment to a medication or trying a different medication is all it takes to resume a great sex life.

I work with many clients on embracing the present and learning a “new normal” for sexual functioning. Our bodies might not work like they did 10 or 20 years ago – but they still work! Embrace your age and change. Sometimes, it’s easier to accept the present than to try to replicate the past. After accepting the body’s new normal, many clients create a new and satisfying sex life with their partners and themselves!

 

Make Sex a Priority

Let the house stay dirty! Who wants to waste time and energy on boring chores when couple-731890_1920you can have sex?! We often get caught up in our daily routine that puts sex on the back burner. Before you know it, a month has gone by without sex! Of course, we need to take care of ourselves and our households, but sex is as important a part of a household being ‘whole’ as buying groceries, cleaning the kitchen, mowing the lawn. Indeed, sex is more important, because the intimacy that sex is part of is the whole reason we choose to have partners, to live and grow with them, in the first place. The chores will always be there, but time for sex may be limited, by schedules, children, medical conditions, or work. Even better, make a sexy game or reward out of the chores! The guests won’t know what really happened in the bathroom!

Hashtag Living with a Sex Therapist: When BFF is Gone, the Toys will Play

Last week, BFF went out of town on one of his many excursions. IMG_5226I’ve stopped trying to keep up with him. While that cat was making calls to local contractors for quotes on kitty play room, I was checking out my newest product to test. (That’s right! A new review blog is coming soon!)

After the dining room experience, BFF sarcastically asked if I was going to have a sex toy party while he was gone.  Therefore, I only found it fitting to place the newest addition on the table with colorful “rope” (aka the cat’s leash) and snap a picture. I sent the picture to BFF with the statement, “When BFF isn’t home…”

His response, “Hell, that happens when I am home.”  Does he realize how envious many men would be of him right now?

Yes, the toy still sits on the end table…

Hashtag Living with a Sex Therapist to be continued…

 

Photo:  Tantus Echo

All About Orgasms and How to have One

Tips to Experience the Big O

As a therapist, I enjoy helping women explore their orgasm as I can relate to the experience! Honestly, I can’t remember my first big “O,” because my brain is getting old or I never knew the sensation was an orgasm! This is common for many women. Until women become mindful with their bodies, including understanding sensations felt with sexual stimulation, it may be difficult to achieve or even know when they’ve had an orgasm. Anatomically speaking, the clitoris has both external and internal parts. It’s really bigger than we think! Check out this article for more detail explaining the clitoris and its function with orgasm. The internal parts are close to our urethra. The resulting response to stimulation can cause women to feel reactions from other organs including the bladder and urethra. If your bladder is full or begins to fill with urine during sex, it may feel as if you need to urinate during climax or orgasm. This causes many women to cease the experience to prevent an embarrassing moment with her partner.

Get to Know Yourself

Start by exploring your body and erogenous (or pleasure) zones alone without any distractions. Having a partner around may create unintended anxiety that will prevent you from focusing on yourself and becoming mindful of your body. This can be done anytime. Does your bedroom after waking up sound inviting? Then do it! How about the tub after a long day at work? Go for it! Choose a time and place that feels comfortable for you.

Next, you can begin exploring different parts of your body and how your body responds. The body has a natural sexual response with involuntary movements including flushing of the skin, nipple erection, muscle tension, and curling of the toes. Some areas of your body may have a stronger response than others. There is no right or wrong when it comes to sexual stimulation and response. During this exercise, you can also use toys or other objects such as a vibrator, ice, feather, or anything that is safe and won’t cause harm. Does a feather over your thighs feel different than your hands or ice over your thighs? Mentally make note of your explorations and discoveries.

Now, let’s see what you feel stimulating the clitoris with mindfulness. When exploring your clitoris, also keep a mental note of where you experience sensation externally and internally in addition to the listed sexual responses above. You may feel internal sensations such as a tightening of your pelvic muscles or sensation (such as tingling) near your pubic bone or urethra. As stated above, it may feel like you are about to pee! At this point, trust yourself and your body! Keep going until you reach climax and orgasm. Feel free to check the sheets for a pee spot. Get down there, sniff it and touch it! Does it smell like urine? Honestly, it might or it might not. Some studies have shown that urine can be released with female “ejaculation” or “squirting” though it’s not all urine. Female ejaculation and squirting come from the urethra. Therefore, if there is urine in your urethra or bladder at the time of orgasm, some may come out though it is not fully concentrated urine.

Get Your Partner Involved

Once you are comfortable with yourself, try allowing yourself to experience the full sensation with a partner. First talk to your partner about your exploration so they know what to expect and can provide support. Also, talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings of possibly urinating during sex or orgasm, and ask their thoughts about this too! You might be surprised to learn that this isn’t a big deal for them either.

Get Some Toys Involved

Toys can be an added benefit to sexual play whether with a partner or solo. If you’re looking to enhance your solo exploration or partner play, check out these suggested toys:

Lelo Ora 2 was created to stimulate tongue movements.

Magic Wand  was created to stimulate the clitoris without causing it become over stimulated.

Tantus’ Rumble will add additional stimulation and offers detachable heads for a variety of stimulation.

Waves of Pleasure: Lelo’s INA Wave Reviewed

My first thought when seeing INA Wave was, “Oh my gosh! It’s like getting fingered but without fingernails!” When Lelo provided an opportunity for me to test this product, I jumped on it like a cat pouncing a mouse! I am so glad I agreed, as this toy does not disappoint.

Soft and Smooth Fingers

As with most Lelo products, the first thing you notice about INA Wave is the soft and slick material. The material is body safe silicon for a more enjoyable experience and easier penetration. However, if extra lubricant is needed, avoid silicon-based lubricant as this could damage the silicon material of the product.

LELO_Femme-Homme_INA-WAVE_product_cerise_2x_0
Courtesy Lelo.com

Next, you’ll notice the “two heads” with the smaller one resembling a thumb and the larger and longer one resembling fingers fused together. Lelo.com describes these as the “pleasure points.” The shorter, thumb-like structure stimulates the clitoris while the larger structure provides internal stimulation. I’m going to let this sink in for a moment…yes, ladies and gents, Ina Wave can simultaneously can provide dual stimulation without the awkward adjusting your hand for the best fit or forgetting to rub one spot while trying to focus on the other!

 

Again, let that sink in for a minute before continuing to read…

INA Who…?

Now that you’re all excited to purchase INA, get her charged up, and test her out, here are some tips for a pleasurable first experience. INA Wave offers ten different vibration modes a including steady patterns and pulsating patterns. INA Wave also allows you to control the intensity of the vibration as well. Before jumping into bed or closing your office door at work, check out the “control” panel located on the inside of the handle. The up and down buttons change the vibration pattern while the left and right buttons change the intensity. Also, note that the vibration patterns do not cycle through at the first or tenth pattern. If you start at the bottom and reach the top, you must use the arrows to go back to the bottom. I learned this after about five minutes of laying going “why doesn’t it feel like it’s changing?” Well, it wasn’t changing that’s why!

Instant Orgasm

Whether you’re an orgasm expert or not, Ina Wave will not disappoint! The variety of vibration patterns and intensity levels allow you to explore and experience different types of orgasm from a slow build to an intense explosion. For women learning about orgasm and your erogenous zones, the steady vibration patterns, without the use of the wave motion, are a great place to start! You can begin to explore erogenous zones of the external genitalia (or any other part of your body!) to see what areas are more arousing and lead to orgasm than others. If you’re exploring your body with a partner, they can help by allowing you to focus on yourself while they control the movement and vibrations. These patterns can help bring on a slower climax or orgasm as well as help you gain control of your orgasmic release.

LELO_Serving-Suggestions-Single_03_cerise
C0urtesy Lelo.com

Another orgasm, courtesy of INA Wave, is an intense, explosive orgasm. I suggest inserting Ina on a steady vibration pattern and playing around a little here. Keep in mind that the clitoral pleasure point will be touching the clitoris though the vibration may feel more or less intense depending on the pattern selected. (Keep reading for more about the clitoral pleasure point.) Once inserted, play around with the steady vibration patterns and intensity levels. Once you’re at a climatic point, adjust the patterns to move into the wave motion pattern and BAM! Your body and brain might not be used to such an intense change leading to a more explosive orgasm. This might not happen all the time though it could occur more often with partner play when your partner controls the patterns and speed.

Waving into the G-Spot

Speaking of the wave motion, this technology not only enhances your overall orgasm, but also stimulates the elusive G-spot. One reason I was excited to take Ina Wave for spin was to test out the G-spot. The G-spot is said to be an erogenous zone on the anterior wall of the vagina and near the urethra. However, it is still up for debate on whether this tiny spot exists or not. Therefore, I try to encourage men and women to enjoy ALL aspects of the female body and not become focused on a spot that might or might not exist for some or all women.

GSpot (alluremedicalspa.com)
Courtesy of alluremedicalspa.com

After discussion with one of my favorite women’s sexual health professionals, we determined that it is possible INA Wave could hit the possible G-spot. At one point, the wave motion stimulated a spot where I felt an intense and tightening pressure near my urethra. I felt a sensation as if I needed to pee though my bladder was empty and I did not actually pee. This orgasm was also more intense and stronger though not explosive. I was also able to control the climax better than the former.

Quiet Zone Not Approved

As with all wonderful things that exist, nothing is perfect including INA Wave. If you were hoping to sneak around with Ina for some fun at the library, the parent’s house, or in the mile high club, do so at your own risk! The back and forth motion of the wave technology also comes with a squeaky sound that you need covers to muffle. During play, the sound could be slightly distracting though the vibrations, wave motion, and your arousal will easily distract.

INA_Wave_Movement_Cerise_1000
Courtesy Lelo.com

Another minor concern with INA Wave is the clitoral pleasure point. At times, it put extra pressure on the clitoris and mons pubis. Since the clitoral pleasure point extension has limited flexibility, it took some adjustment to find a comfortable spot. Also keep in mind that the extra pressure with vibration could cause extra stimulation on the clitoris. For some, this may be extra pleasure though for others it could be uncomfortable. I did find that moving INA Wave in and out or up and down allowed for adjustment of the clitoral stimulator. Don’t let this be a deal breaker! If you want the pleasure of the wave motion though can forego the clitoral stimulation, check out Mona Wave! Mona Wave is just like Ina Wave though without the clitoral pleasure point and slightly different vibration patterns.

Ready to add a new friend to your bedroom play? You can purchase Ina Wave here or Mona Wave here.

To Masturbate or Not to Masturbate…

The on going battle between the sexes is masturbation…the new “leaving the seat up or down” fight. Many clients schedule appointments over “sex addiction” and then reveal one partner’s desire for self-pleasure and the other partner’s dissatisfaction with this behavior.

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Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Well, ladies and gents, I’m here to help relieve the anxiety and fighting. First, masturbation is a healthy and normal behavior for both men and women. It is unclear at exactly what age masturbation begins though reports show male babies touching their genitals in the womb and all babies showing interest with “what’s down there” while infants and toddlers. Although our genitals main function is for reproduction, stimulation of the genital or genital areas (including the anus) can create a soothing or calming sensation. Some cultures rub babies genitals in order to calm them while other cultures rub a baby’s butt to calm them. Therefore, we learn from an early age that “what’s down there” feels good. However, as we grow and show more interest in our genitals, we are often scolded and begin to associate our genitals with shame or stigma.

At what age does one begin to masturbate? There is no clear answer since very few studies report on infancy and early childhood sexual development and behaviors. However, The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB) studied males and females from ages 14-70+ regarding a range of sexual behaviors including solo masturbation and

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Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

masturbation with a partner. In this study, 62% of males ages 14-15 reported masturbating. Male masturbation rate increased until age 40 when the rate began to decrease again…though not by much compared to females. The study also revealed that 40% of females ages 14-15 reported masturbating with slight increases until age 30-39 when the female masturbation rate begins to decrease. This study also shows that males are more likely to masturbate with a partner than females and the percentages are much lower than solo masturbation.

 

Why Masturbation becomes the Enemy

Many societies create negative connotations around masturbation. We learn it is a “dirty” activity for “horny boys.” Girls receive messages that masturbation or touching their genitals is “not lady like,” and sexual play is for marriage or only with a partner. Therefore, our brains are embedded with messages that men can masturbate until they have a partner, and women have no need for masturbation or sexual pleasure without a partner. Once two people couple up, there is this expectation that the male will completely cease masturbation, only masturbate seldom, or masturbate when his partner is not available. Many women will also internalize a sense of worthlessness if her partner masturbates instead of seeks her out for sex. However, masturbation and intercourse are two different activities just like fried chicken is different from sushi. I enjoy both fried chicken and sushi and would hate if a new partner told me I couldn’t eat either or both anymore.

Jokes aside, it is acceptable for women to feel disappointment if her mate pleasures himself and she was hoping for playtime with him. This is not masturbation’s fault though a lack of communication about each other’s needs. Going back to my food analogy, remember that your partner engaged in activities (including masturbation) prior to your relationship just like you both probably ate fried chicken and sushi before the relationship. Instead of asking your partner to completely eliminate an enjoyable activity, let’s look at how masturbation can benefit your health and relationship.

 

Benefits of Masturbation

1. Stress relief: One of the biggest benefits of masturbation is alleviating stress through the release of endorphins or the “happy” chemical.” This applies to both men and women.

2. Self exploration: Masturbation also always men and women to explore their bodies and learn new erogenous zones. Erogenous zones are areas of our body that increase sexual arousal. Since all bodies are not alike, what stimulates one person may not even affect another person. Therefore, I encourage clients to use masturbation as a time to learn about their own bodies in order to teach your partner. Just like women are encouraged to perform at home breast exams, masturbation can also help you find possible medical concerns such as a new lump or tender spot.

3. Improve erectile dysfunction (ED): Like many other body parts, the penis can atrophy if not used. Many men seek therapy reporting difficulty obtaining or maintaining erection. More times than not, they report lack of sexual intercourse and minimal masturbation. Once we discuss the function of the penis, I encourage increasing masturbation and men report a significant difference in ability to obtain and maintain erection. Masturbation also helps with premature ejaculation. The longer a man goes without sex, the quicker he may ejaculate due to the renewal of stimulation and pleasure with arousal. He may also feel a

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Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

loss of control with less frequent orgasms whether with masturbation or intercourse. Although this could be a one-time instance, anxiety could arise exacerbating further sexual encounters. Therefore, masturbation allows a man to maintain a sense of control and prolong ejaculation.

4. Less boring sex with partner: Masturbation is a form of sexual behavior and activity. Although many people associate it as an “alone time” activity, partner masturbation can be extremely fun and erotic for some individuals or couples. Partner masturbation could be oral sex on your partner or stimulating yourself with your partner present. Couples can also introduce sex toys for added fun and to help prolong your playtime session together. Sex toys can do the work while you rest and get ready for the next round. Many clients complain about either their sex life entering a rut or not being aroused before intercourse. Partner masturbation not only spices things up, but can help prepare both partners for intercourse (if you so choose to add this into your masturbation session). Orgasms are beneficial for women as it can relax the vaginal muscles to prevent tightness upon entry. Masturbation can also help the penis become fully erect by helping pull blood into the penis.

 

Interested in adding masturbation into your sexual play script? Click the the toys below to get the party started!

 

Ora       Fleshlight Go Torque combo

Introducing HRH Duchess of Tantus: A Tantus Review

duchess-launch-creative-carousel_7f2770b6-0846-4664-989e-768b740a70df

Now that you’re done reading about Alan and all his glory, let’s take a look at Duchess. When Tantus asked which toy I wanted to review next, I admit I had an “Oh look! Shiny object!” moment. Although Duchess isn’t shiny, she/he is very pretty coming in one of three colors: blue, purple, or pink.

Royalty Comes in Many Colorsduchess-group_shopify_1024x1024

I bet you missed the part about option of colors as you’re wondering about the “she/he” reference to a vibrating DILDO. Duchess’ description does not indicate gender pronoun preference. Some may automatically think that a phallic shaped object is automatically considered male. Some may think that an object named “Duchess” is automatically female. We may never know if Duchess identifies as male or female, though what I can tell you is Duchess isn’t for the faint of heart! From here on, Duchess will just be known as HRH.

For Royalty, Size Does Matter

Measuring at 6.5 inches long with a diameter shaft of 1.6”, Duchess gains a little girth fullsizerenderaround the head measuring in at 1.8”. If you’re looking for a snugger fit than Alan, the HRH is your toy. Duchess is part of the O2 Dual Density line though of the non-realistic colors hence the blue, purple, pink color options. Duchess is made of 100% silicone with a soft exterior and firm inner core (no little blue pill needed with this one!).

If you’re chomping at the bit to test HRH out, I do
recommend lube to assist with penetration and prevfullsizerender-1ent any tears or sores. (Check out AloeCadabra on th
e Let’s Talk Sex Shop page). Finally, as I advised ladies with Alan, Duchess is a goal toy once vaginal pain or vaginismus is resolved. If you’re looking for skinnier girth or shorter length, Duchess is not advisable either. No worries! It’s a tough job toy reviewing though I’m on a mission to find toys for everyone.

No Chambermaids Needed

Dtantus-bulletuchess also comes with a bullet vibe to add a little extra thrill. HRH is also suction cup compatible though this is not included as it is with Alan. If you’re looking to buy a suction cup, you can find those here. Duchess is also anal safe and harness compatible.  tantus-suction-cup

 

Too tired after play to properly clean your toys? In addition to toy cleaner, Duchess is also dishwasher and boiling compatible! Pop HRH in the dishwasher or boil in a pot of water for easy clean up. Please remember to remove Duchess from the boiling pot before hubby arrives home to prevent an unintended ER trip after he passes out…

 

Find the HRH and other great toys here!

Getting to Know Alan in Bed: A Tantus Review

If you listen to the Let’s Talk Sex Podcast then you know my respect for Tantus, one of the adult toy companies I support. I support this company for a number of reasons including the company began from the inspiration of a woman and it offers high quality and body safe toys. Although I support companies where men have created wonderful toys for women, a man just doesn’t know what it’s like to have an object all up in your female space. A lot of times, there is focus on a man’s pleasure and enjoyment inside the woman. Well, it seems to me that Tantus turned that around and focused on how a woman can receive pleasure and enjoyment with a variety of penile options for play.

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Tantus offers a toy for everyone’s desire, needs, wants, and experimentation. If you like it tantus-alan-colorsslim, they have it. If you like it long, they have it. If you like it thick, they got that too. If you like uncut, yep, that one too. Tantus also offers a variety of colors. From purple, pink, and blue and even REALISTIC in three different skin tones. Speaking of those skin tones, these toys (as well as few non realistic options) even FEEL like the real thing minus actual blood flow and body heat (though I wouldn’t be surprised if a adding a warming component was in the works!).

Your Next Boy Toy

I had the opportunity to test out the original realistic toy, Alan (Did I forget to mention they even have realistic names too?). Alan is part of the O2 Density line or the line created to provide the most realistic feel of an adult toy. This line is made of the high quality, body safe silicone as the rest of the product line. I describe Alan as a 4 in 1 toy. Alan can be used as a regular dildo or he becomes a vibrator with the easy insertion of a bullet. Did I mention the bullet is included witalan-vibeh purchase?? Alan is also harness compatible for partner play. Don’t have a partner and want to enjoy solo play without doing all the work? Alan is suction cup compatible, which is also included with purchase! Did I mention Alan is also waterproof so that suction cup goes a long way? Yes, you get your bang for your buck with Alan!

In terms of size, I describe Alan as slightly above average for the American male. The average size penis of the American male is around 6 inches. Alan comes in at 6.5 inches long with a 1.54 diameter. I’d say Alan is not too slim though not too thick and offers a nice, secure fit. Ladies, if you are currently experiencing vaginal tightness or any vaginismus, I recommend a smaller diameter toy until you can work up to Alan’s pleasure.

 

Interested in checking Alan out? You can find him on the Shop page of my website or click here. All purchases through the shop page support the production of the Let’s Talk Sex Podcast where you can here me talk about more product reviews.

What You REALLY Need to Know about Sex Positions!

As a sex therapist, I’m always asked about sex positions. I also provide feedback for clients who may be engaging in positions not appropriate for comfort and well being of one or both partners.  In this post we will explore positions and their benefits.  For those readers who are visual learners, Carvaka Sex Toys created an infograph to better visual these and many more positions.

The G What?!?!

One position, and a very popular position for some couples, is the “G Whiz.” This position carvaka-the_countertopwill be described using a heterosexual couple, though this can be tried by a female couple with a strap on. The female partner lies on a platform that is hip height to her male partner. The male is standing facing her while positioning her legs over his shoulders.   Named for the G-Spot, this position allows for maximum g-spot stimulation increasing chance of female, internal orgasm.  Men particularly like this position as they can get a deeper feel and thrust. The “
G Whiz” also gives men more control over thrusting and therefore is not recommended for women who need to control the speed and depth of thrusting. Dr. Shelley DiCecco, PT, PhD, CLT-LANA with The Sports Rehabilitation Center based in Atlanta – and a very special guest on my “Let’s Talk Sex” podcast – advises women and men, especially those with pelvic or hip concerns, to avoid having legs over their partner’s shoulders.  Dr. Shelley shares that this position increases “the rotation on the pelvis bones, the iliums, and increases the curve/pressure on the low back.” She also states the “G Whiz” increases the shearing or rotational stress on the iliums which can cause or increase pain. A person with low back or disc problems may have increased pain in the back and down into the legs, the Sciatica, with both legs and/or one leg over a partner’s shoulder.” Dr. Shelley also states the “G Whiz” can “increase the pain experienced internally by the female partner…” Dr. Shelley and I both recommend that if you or your partner experience any pain during sex, an evaluation from a physical therapist or other doctor is needed to rule out any medical conditions. For those who particularly enjoy the “G Whiz”, don’t give it up yet! Try legs around your partner’s waist as this gives a similar feel for the male though is better for women’s pelvis, hips, and back.

Here Kitty Kitty…

If you are looking for a position where the woman has more control with more pleasure, carvaka-coital_alignment_techniquecarvaka-coital_alignment_technique
check out the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique).
According to Men’s Health and the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, the CAT increases female orgasm by 56%! The position is similar to traditional missionary position, though the man positions his chest near the woman’s shoulder instead of face to face as with missionary.  This position can also work for both a heterosexual couple or female couple with a strap on. First, both partners position themselves into a standard missionary with woman lying on her back and the man on top. If two women try this position, the partner with the strap-on is on top. Now, the man or top partner will move his/her body slightly to one side so you are no longer face-to-face and your partner’s chest is aligned with your shoulder. The thrusting motion is the other factor for this position to increase female pleasure. Instead of thrusting in and out, the male/top partner will thrust up and down. Imagine thrusting from floor to ceiling instead of headboard to footboard. This allows for more stimulation of the clit with the up and down movement. Due to the change in body alignment and thrusting movement,   I recommend trying this position slowly, at first, to prevent injury.

Would You Like a Cherry on Top?

Another position to increase female pleasure and control is the Banana Split, also called the Scissors or Sideways Straddle. I like the name Banana Split best! This position can be performed with a heterosexual or  female couple using a strap on. Other than sounding
delicious, this position allows the female or top partner more control over speed and depth. According to Dr. Shelley, “Women with pelvic pain can experience pain with initial carvaka-the_seated_scissorspenetration, pain with deep penetration, and/or pain for one or more hours post intercourse. The pain can be in one or more of the following areas: the vagina or genital area, in the low back, in the buttocks, at the sacroiliac joint, or she may also experience a pressure symptom across the abdomen… By controlling speed and depth, the woman can minimize the pain experienced during intercourse.”  The Banana Split also allows for more grinding action and the use of the male or top partner’s thigh to stimulate the clit. To get into this position,
the male or top partner lies on his or her back with feet flat on the bed or other supportive surface. The female or bottom partner positions herself facing away from her partner’s face while straddling her partner’s thigh with one leg between his legs and the other leg on the outside. If the male or bottom partner is an “ass man or woman,” this position allows for a great rear view!

This Isn’t Child’s Play…

Finally, if you and your partner are adventurous and in good physical shape, check out the Wheelbarrow.  This position is just like the game we played in elementary school except carvaka-the_standing_wheelbarrowour clothes are now off!  The male partner enters from the rear while holding the female’s legs, and the female uses upper body and core strength to stabilize. This position allows the male more thrusting control so communication about comfort level is encouraged between partners.  If watching yourself is enjoyable, the male also has a better view of himself entering his partner.  When trying this position for the first time, I encourage a practice round with clothes on to prevent injury. As this position needs a strong upper body and core strength for the female partner, please consult with a medical provider.  

To find out more about these and other positions as well as Dr. Shelley’s advice, take a listen to the Let’s Talk Sex podcast episodes 5 and 14!  If you are in the Atlanta area and experiencing painful intercourse, click here to schedule with Dr. Shelley or her associates. Interested in learning more about Strap On play? Check out this great infograph from our friends over the pond at CarVaka Sex Toys.