All About Orgasms and How to have One

Tips to Experience the Big O

As a therapist, I enjoy helping women explore their orgasm as I can relate to the experience! Honestly, I can’t remember my first big “O,” because my brain is getting old or I never knew the sensation was an orgasm! This is common for many women. Until women become mindful with their bodies, including understanding sensations felt with sexual stimulation, it may be difficult to achieve or even know when they’ve had an orgasm. Anatomically speaking, the clitoris has both external and internal parts. It’s really bigger than we think! Check out this article for more detail explaining the clitoris and its function with orgasm. The internal parts are close to our urethra. The resulting response to stimulation can cause women to feel reactions from other organs including the bladder and urethra. If your bladder is full or begins to fill with urine during sex, it may feel as if you need to urinate during climax or orgasm. This causes many women to cease the experience to prevent an embarrassing moment with her partner.

Get to Know Yourself

Start by exploring your body and erogenous (or pleasure) zones alone without any distractions. Having a partner around may create unintended anxiety that will prevent you from focusing on yourself and becoming mindful of your body. This can be done anytime. Does your bedroom after waking up sound inviting? Then do it! How about the tub after a long day at work? Go for it! Choose a time and place that feels comfortable for you.

Next, you can begin exploring different parts of your body and how your body responds. The body has a natural sexual response with involuntary movements including flushing of the skin, nipple erection, muscle tension, and curling of the toes. Some areas of your body may have a stronger response than others. There is no right or wrong when it comes to sexual stimulation and response. During this exercise, you can also use toys or other objects such as a vibrator, ice, feather, or anything that is safe and won’t cause harm. Does a feather over your thighs feel different than your hands or ice over your thighs? Mentally make note of your explorations and discoveries.

Now, let’s see what you feel stimulating the clitoris with mindfulness. When exploring your clitoris, also keep a mental note of where you experience sensation externally and internally in addition to the listed sexual responses above. You may feel internal sensations such as a tightening of your pelvic muscles or sensation (such as tingling) near your pubic bone or urethra. As stated above, it may feel like you are about to pee! At this point, trust yourself and your body! Keep going until you reach climax and orgasm. Feel free to check the sheets for a pee spot. Get down there, sniff it and touch it! Does it smell like urine? Honestly, it might or it might not. Some studies have shown that urine can be released with female “ejaculation” or “squirting” though it’s not all urine. Female ejaculation and squirting come from the urethra. Therefore, if there is urine in your urethra or bladder at the time of orgasm, some may come out though it is not fully concentrated urine.

Get Your Partner Involved

Once you are comfortable with yourself, try allowing yourself to experience the full sensation with a partner. First talk to your partner about your exploration so they know what to expect and can provide support. Also, talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings of possibly urinating during sex or orgasm, and ask their thoughts about this too! You might be surprised to learn that this isn’t a big deal for them either.

Get Some Toys Involved

Toys can be an added benefit to sexual play whether with a partner or solo. If you’re looking to enhance your solo exploration or partner play, check out these suggested toys:

Lelo Ora 2 was created to stimulate tongue movements.

Magic Wand  was created to stimulate the clitoris without causing it become over stimulated.

Tantus’ Rumble will add additional stimulation and offers detachable heads for a variety of stimulation.

Waves of Pleasure: Lelo’s INA Wave Reviewed

My first thought when seeing INA Wave was, “Oh my gosh! It’s like getting fingered but without fingernails!” When Lelo provided an opportunity for me to test this product, I jumped on it like a cat pouncing a mouse! I am so glad I agreed, as this toy does not disappoint.

Soft and Smooth Fingers

As with most Lelo products, the first thing you notice about INA Wave is the soft and slick material. The material is body safe silicon for a more enjoyable experience and easier penetration. However, if extra lubricant is needed, avoid silicon-based lubricant as this could damage the silicon material of the product.

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Courtesy Lelo.com

Next, you’ll notice the “two heads” with the smaller one resembling a thumb and the larger and longer one resembling fingers fused together. Lelo.com describes these as the “pleasure points.” The shorter, thumb-like structure stimulates the clitoris while the larger structure provides internal stimulation. I’m going to let this sink in for a moment…yes, ladies and gents, Ina Wave can simultaneously can provide dual stimulation without the awkward adjusting your hand for the best fit or forgetting to rub one spot while trying to focus on the other!

 

Again, let that sink in for a minute before continuing to read…

INA Who…?

Now that you’re all excited to purchase INA, get her charged up, and test her out, here are some tips for a pleasurable first experience. INA Wave offers ten different vibration modes a including steady patterns and pulsating patterns. INA Wave also allows you to control the intensity of the vibration as well. Before jumping into bed or closing your office door at work, check out the “control” panel located on the inside of the handle. The up and down buttons change the vibration pattern while the left and right buttons change the intensity. Also, note that the vibration patterns do not cycle through at the first or tenth pattern. If you start at the bottom and reach the top, you must use the arrows to go back to the bottom. I learned this after about five minutes of laying going “why doesn’t it feel like it’s changing?” Well, it wasn’t changing that’s why!

Instant Orgasm

Whether you’re an orgasm expert or not, Ina Wave will not disappoint! The variety of vibration patterns and intensity levels allow you to explore and experience different types of orgasm from a slow build to an intense explosion. For women learning about orgasm and your erogenous zones, the steady vibration patterns, without the use of the wave motion, are a great place to start! You can begin to explore erogenous zones of the external genitalia (or any other part of your body!) to see what areas are more arousing and lead to orgasm than others. If you’re exploring your body with a partner, they can help by allowing you to focus on yourself while they control the movement and vibrations. These patterns can help bring on a slower climax or orgasm as well as help you gain control of your orgasmic release.

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C0urtesy Lelo.com

Another orgasm, courtesy of INA Wave, is an intense, explosive orgasm. I suggest inserting Ina on a steady vibration pattern and playing around a little here. Keep in mind that the clitoral pleasure point will be touching the clitoris though the vibration may feel more or less intense depending on the pattern selected. (Keep reading for more about the clitoral pleasure point.) Once inserted, play around with the steady vibration patterns and intensity levels. Once you’re at a climatic point, adjust the patterns to move into the wave motion pattern and BAM! Your body and brain might not be used to such an intense change leading to a more explosive orgasm. This might not happen all the time though it could occur more often with partner play when your partner controls the patterns and speed.

Waving into the G-Spot

Speaking of the wave motion, this technology not only enhances your overall orgasm, but also stimulates the elusive G-spot. One reason I was excited to take Ina Wave for spin was to test out the G-spot. The G-spot is said to be an erogenous zone on the anterior wall of the vagina and near the urethra. However, it is still up for debate on whether this tiny spot exists or not. Therefore, I try to encourage men and women to enjoy ALL aspects of the female body and not become focused on a spot that might or might not exist for some or all women.

GSpot (alluremedicalspa.com)
Courtesy of alluremedicalspa.com

After discussion with one of my favorite women’s sexual health professionals, we determined that it is possible INA Wave could hit the possible G-spot. At one point, the wave motion stimulated a spot where I felt an intense and tightening pressure near my urethra. I felt a sensation as if I needed to pee though my bladder was empty and I did not actually pee. This orgasm was also more intense and stronger though not explosive. I was also able to control the climax better than the former.

Quiet Zone Not Approved

As with all wonderful things that exist, nothing is perfect including INA Wave. If you were hoping to sneak around with Ina for some fun at the library, the parent’s house, or in the mile high club, do so at your own risk! The back and forth motion of the wave technology also comes with a squeaky sound that you need covers to muffle. During play, the sound could be slightly distracting though the vibrations, wave motion, and your arousal will easily distract.

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Courtesy Lelo.com

Another minor concern with INA Wave is the clitoral pleasure point. At times, it put extra pressure on the clitoris and mons pubis. Since the clitoral pleasure point extension has limited flexibility, it took some adjustment to find a comfortable spot. Also keep in mind that the extra pressure with vibration could cause extra stimulation on the clitoris. For some, this may be extra pleasure though for others it could be uncomfortable. I did find that moving INA Wave in and out or up and down allowed for adjustment of the clitoral stimulator. Don’t let this be a deal breaker! If you want the pleasure of the wave motion though can forego the clitoral stimulation, check out Mona Wave! Mona Wave is just like Ina Wave though without the clitoral pleasure point and slightly different vibration patterns.

Ready to add a new friend to your bedroom play? You can purchase Ina Wave here or Mona Wave here.