Photo Credit: Stuart Miles from FreeDigitalPhotos.net
It’s that time of year again! Yes, if you are from the south, it is college football season though I’m referring to the fact that college is back in session too. I reflected on my college dating experience and what advice would have helped me back in my college days. I decided to give you five tips to start your college dating experience off on the right side of the bunk bed:
- Create your “bucket list” of traits in partner. Instead of looking at what you don’t want in partner, start looking for what you DO want in partner. Be specific with your list as well! Instead saying, “likes sports,” think about more specific sports that interest you and you would like to share with a partner. I always suggest creating at least five non-negotiable items or items you won’t budge on at all.
- Be honest and direct with your date. Lying might work in the short term, though it tends to fail in the long term. If you know a date does not meet a non-negotiable item, create conversation to determine if future dating is reasonable. If not, explore the option of friendship. Just because that person isn’t a match, doesn’t mean he/she might not have a friend…
- When online dating, practice mindfulness of your grammar in your writing. Using too many slang words, over use of abbreviations, and too much poor sentence structure could determine if a potential match writes back to you! Your dating site writing doesn’t have to get you an A+ in Lit, though you want to let this person know you did pay some attention in class!
- Never turn down a date unless there are noticeable “red flags” that could jeopardize your safety. Agreeing to a date allows you to meet other people, gets you away from studying, and might end up as a relationship! If you can’t say “yes” to a suggested time and place, decline with an alternative option to show you are interested in meeting this person
- This one is for the ladies. As long as there isn’t an agreed exclusive relationship, don’t be afraid to date more than one person at a time. Many women receive messages that dating more than one partner is shameful and she is label as a “whore” or “slut.” We live in a modern world, ladies! You are not a whore or slut if you decide to go out with more than one potential date at a time. You aren’t even a whore or slut if you choose to become sexual with more than one partner at a time. I do advise protection against STIs and birth control as well as communication with your sex partners so he/she can decide if becoming sexual is a good decision for them.
- This one is for the men. Guys, chivalry is not dead! It is respectful to open the door for another person or offer to refill his/her drink. It also shows respect when you offer to pay for the meal. If your partner seems concerns with your actions, be up front about your intentions to show respect and you are not expecting anything more.
Happy dating and enjoy college!